Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Editing my story

I am learning to go back and edit my writing by using my marking card. I am also learning to use interesting words in my story.
By: Jonah.
One day, me and my whole family went to the swimming pool then I did a big splash. After, I went to one scary ride then I got dizzy so I went back to the cold pool. It was so cold so I went to the warm pool with my family because I went with my Dad everywhere then he was tired.

8 comments:

  1. Oh what are great work you got there Isitolo, very nice and clean page. I'd like Vili to write clear like you. Keep it up room 4 you are all amazing!

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  2. I'm sorry I meant Jonah, I got the pictures mixed up :)

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  3. That’s a real good piece of writing you’ve done Jonah. Keep I up!

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  4. Great for using your marking card to help your writing, Jonah.

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  5. Sounds like you a had a really good time Jonah. Your handwriting looks really neat and I like your pictures. Keep it up Jonah.

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  6. Well done Jonah. You're always on your feet to complete your work with your best. Keep it up as you will be a great author one day.

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  7. Wow Jonah,
    good describing and describing how you felt after one scary ride. You must of had a great time.

    Kind Regards,
    Silia

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  8. Amazing Jonah,
    I like your writing and your hand writing it looks amazing.
    KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

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