Tuesday, March 6, 2018

Editing my story

I am learning to go back and edit my writing by using my marking card. I am also learning to use interesting words in my story.
By: Jonah.
One day, me and my whole family went to the swimming pool then I did a big splash. After, I went to one scary ride then I got dizzy so I went back to the cold pool. It was so cold so I went to the warm pool with my family because I went with my Dad everywhere then he was tired.


  1. Oh what are great work you got there Isitolo, very nice and clean page. I'd like Vili to write clear like you. Keep it up room 4 you are all amazing!

  2. I'm sorry I meant Jonah, I got the pictures mixed up :)

  3. That’s a real good piece of writing you’ve done Jonah. Keep I up!

  4. Great for using your marking card to help your writing, Jonah.

  5. Sounds like you a had a really good time Jonah. Your handwriting looks really neat and I like your pictures. Keep it up Jonah.

  6. Well done Jonah. You're always on your feet to complete your work with your best. Keep it up as you will be a great author one day.

  7. Wow Jonah,
    good describing and describing how you felt after one scary ride. You must of had a great time.

    Kind Regards,